I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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