I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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