i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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