What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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