We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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