How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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