pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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