i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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