You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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