we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have already put on my inside pants.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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