hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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