i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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