yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize