you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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