We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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