this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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