ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
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they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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