And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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