Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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