i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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