I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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