At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize