She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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