Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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