Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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