the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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