Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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