If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize