his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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