she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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