Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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