The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize