i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize