i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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