i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize