I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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