But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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