How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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