Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize