I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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