she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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