i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize