You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I see more hoeing in ur future
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