There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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