did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Panties = found
Randomize