I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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