Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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