every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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