I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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