she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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