You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
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been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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