i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize